where did my soul go?

The life I had, I can't have back. The choices I made,

affected me in all those ways.
The mistakes I made have not been forgotten.
The tears I shed, the sounds I made, the feelings
that left me feeling in a different way.
Yet I can't see why these tears feel so unreal.
I'm not the same, my words are unsaid.
What I hide, is buried deep inside.
I cry in the dark, cuz I know I cut too deep.
The blood is like the rain,
in every way it drifts away.
The scars are real, but the wounds in the heart
are another mark.
I'm not fake, I'm not a doll,
I just don't think I'm the same in any way.
So where did my soul go?
Why did I ever let it runaway?