A ThAnK YoU PoSt

Life is so short, it's not like I realized it today morning... but,, when I woke up today.. I felt like.. I have been ignoring so many things I have in this life, things which I gradually made, things which came to me with or without my consent, for all I felt I must take out some time and analyze over things and thank the best and beautiful out of those and thank the rest with a sweet smile inside my brain with all the warmth my heart can provide.

And here goes the list: 

1. Thanking the people who bought me to the world without my consent..:) gave me this education and made me independent and gave me the freedom to build my thoughts and my world.

2. Next to the person who I could never match my attitude with, but over time we realized we had something very common within us, yeah.. we think alike, we have our part of differences, but there is something which makes us sit together without sleep.. and can talk talk & talk over so many things random things under the sky..... and I thank you for everything...for the fights, for the love, for the talks, for the drives, everything...I love you so much.... even though I seldom call you I rarely message.... you are a part of me.... which is inseparable!!!

3.My best friends, who can make a sick evening wonderful, for whom I never mind sitting late and chatting, who makes me laugh, remembers every stupidity of mine :X.. thanks for being my best friends, thanks for giving me your shoulders to cry on whenever I break my heart.. thanks for making me think on random things.. thanks for being part of my life,.... love you so much...I know these words are not enough...: * >:D<.

4. Finally, thanks to all the quirky friends who I have done all the crazy stuff with which have become the worst and best memories of my life!

The first and the last post of 2012….

Experiencing the life of single working woman....

The fun of cooking myself

Living…single

Midnight Hunger Pangs

Fights

Crushes

Staying scared of being raped by some ugly fat man!

Crying

Dancing

Finishing a box of icecream in one short !

Wonderful Trips..

Sm wonderful memories

unsolved problems to tag along with me next year…

Breaks and hopes…life rolls on….

Do I Need to Share Everything!!

If I can't share my sorrow why should I share my anger ?
If I can't show the frustration, why should I share my problems?
If I cant share my emotions,why should I share my happinesss?

Is there any rule?  Becoz am a social being in a social system..do I need to share everythg to all those who seem to be close to me?

 

where did my soul go?

The life I had, I can't have back. The choices I made,

affected me in all those ways.
The mistakes I made have not been forgotten.
The tears I shed, the sounds I made, the feelings
that left me feeling in a different way.
Yet I can't see why these tears feel so unreal.
I'm not the same, my words are unsaid.
What I hide, is buried deep inside.
I cry in the dark, cuz I know I cut too deep.
The blood is like the rain,
in every way it drifts away.
The scars are real, but the wounds in the heart
are another mark.
I'm not fake, I'm not a doll,
I just don't think I'm the same in any way.
So where did my soul go?
Why did I ever let it runaway?

Changes of ma life..:)

At last am back with a happy post!!!

yep..really...am on cloud nine....

nw am happy with a new  set of hopes!!

Happy after a long....:) giving a break for all the mad ravenings!!!!

Changes of ma life::In short

1.Resigned from the ever boring job..and back to the ever loving title jobless nerd!
2.Tried becoming a tutor!
3.I got admission to ma dream institution!
4.Again Redesigned ma future plans and took a resolution to not to change again!

Thats all for now!!

I wonder Y...

I wonder y...i wonder? I know this is not sane !

I wonder why..i get close to strangers..
Is it that I love getting hurt..
or is it that..I hope...there will be a new beginning..
But nothing have really ended well in my life its just faded away or just ended abruptly with a pain.

I wonder why i brood over the past...
I have plenty of things to plan for the future..
I have tonnes of stories to pen down..
I wish I could write better..

I wonder why I ask questions to stone idol..
knowing I have answers inside me..

I wonder why I am not an atheist..?
I know I don't believe in omnipresent god!

There are more things...but...I donno what those things are....:( !

Men...Men..Men!!!

"Men are obnoxious, arrogant, entitled, violent, stinky, crass, loudmouthed, stupid, craven, bragadocious, thoughtless, unreflective, abusive, selfish, lowbrow, willfully ignorant assholes." yea..most of them are....


Its not that I hate men....but..this is what ma present situation..make me type!! I know I am sounding childish here…!


I prefer to go with personhood. I know this is a paradox after what I have typed already..but that’s what I prefer…

I had to come across some bad mouthed gossiping guys….and am fuming here coz of some experiences I got today!!

I was pouring out ma worries and irritations to ma friend and his opinions and suggestion were unbearable! I am so sad…that I have got very few girly best friends!! (:( :()

****************some thoughts!!!*************************

Do women in real have the freedom to express all the feelings and thoughts?

I had to deal with real bad comments for expressing ma thoughts....and I feel pathetic when some girls keep their mouth shut scared of the comments from the so called males of our society!

Why is it hard for some men to think of their opposite gender as equal to them...having all the emotions ,feelings, thoughts... like they do!

I don’t want anybody to treat women as delicate beings on the earth. Even after saying so, those men hurt women to the core..which she survives all the time!

We can deal with all sorts of physical and mental breakdowns and we don want ny kind of sympathy.

why is it that some men even living n this century think...girls are supposed to liv under the roof of kitchen...cookin and serving them ?
yea..there is a mistake…in abov sentence….in present time, men expect women to earn too….so for tht...she can liv outside the roof of kitchen for 9 hours a day!![may b am wrong here..but...its true atleast among the middle/upper middle class conservative societies ]

I know things have changed a lot now…still there are women..who hav to suffer…

Today…I came across a lady who talked to me about her family…and her recent tensions. She have to take care of her full family…Her man was a coward who ran away with another girl after giving his wife an year long injury by hitting hard in her abdomen … When she was talking she was all worried about her old mom. Recently her mom had to undergo some kinds of harassment from the security of nearby building…!!! Her mother is 72 year old….and tht old lady ends up siting inside the house all day..till her daughter arrives back. Its hard to believe that there are people living under fear even in bright day light!!

Fear! Fear! Fear! Why cant we overcome this emotion? and surprise ourselves with a good life!

Voices in ma head!

Ha!!

Thinking of writing something to ma blog after a long fight with me and the insane voices in ma head!

I donno how many people in his world hear voices inside them...

I have 4 kinds of voice...inside me... and the fifth voice is of mine! which I use to fight with the imposed wills of ma life! which becomes the sole cause for all the voices!

1. one From temporal lobe of ma brain.
2. another one from occipital lobe
3. one in frontal lobe.
4. inside ma heart!

NOw I tell you what all thses voices do to me....I havent called them any names as I dont love them!

for nw lemme name them...am very bad at naming somthg....I think I will go with 1,2, 3, and 4

the first voice kicks in when I read some interesting book...as if it finds pleasure in asking unnecessary questions while am reading!

the second one jumps in the middle of some first voice and they will start fighting ! trying make me insane!

the third is much better than the first two .....it will rescue me from the first two say a stop and a conclusion ! but third one is not always good...sometimes 3 is the problem starter...putting in topics like loneliness, madness, love, passion, lust, happiness, weirdness....I dunno always it will have voice to make fight with ma fourth and final voice in ma heart!

And the fourth one..I think thats the intuition as the people say....which is supposed to b the right and the safest one!

iNcOmPlEtE!!

Now after 4 months iam bak ! four months-- i have jumped 2 jobs for one reason or another ,i have to move on and one.....to be honest i was searching happiness !!

Happiness
when i was a child ,happiness meant to be holidays and choclates!
whn i was a teenager it was something i got with my friends
now am an young lady and i donno what happiness is and from where i can get that!

now am pathethic looking for the defenition of happiness!
ya i got one too !
"Happiness ia an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy."

ya thats a feeling we experience from satisfaction yep its that am an incomplete s/w engr!
i dont want to be!
i want to dissovle myself into the world of colors!
ya am experiencing that feelin when im searching colors, searching for paintings....sitting and dreamin about mixing them to make patterns of life!


I am incomplete in all sense!

ma day!

tese days ma blog is havin an attitude lik "I AM THE ONE" its all centered arnd me! wanna change tat! oki so let me start with ma office !
ya...name is still dere im not gonna change im still jobless nerd with a job!!
im workin in confer ma team consists of 5 members!
our tL is mary
im sittin nxt to amru in a safe Zone..:)
back side of me sonali a charater who cant understand a word in malayalam !!! hoppin i can get sm bengoli frm her!
nxt to tat swapu
back side od swappu mary!
tats the way v sit over here !
nd apart frm ma preious job the only thg is tat ma fav sites are not blocked so tat i can play in orangeshark ,i can do ma regular orkuttin, i can chk for neweest of newest mails!
the current trnd of mine goes like http://www.orangeshark.com/ u can as many games nd win as many badges evn tough i havnt won a silver badge i would continue playing !
all ppl over here r good! but i donno y i cant b close to dem dere is som distance alwayz! v used to share our food v used to explan te funny tngs happend arnd v used to exchange recepices still some tng is missin! mayb i m missin ma old dayz tats y te distance!
im updatin ma blog with a notime so tere ill b lot of spellin mistakes plzz read correctin ma blog!he he!bubyeeee!

I am in DEeeeP SHiT!!!!

my lyf is disgusting!!!!
i dont knw wat to write im aggressiv im showin anger im in deep shit!!
i m nw feelin to live in tis shit forever !so i dont want to care abt ma apperence ma way! i lik to b smelly ! i dont want nyone to come over me i dont want nyone i want to liv in tis shiT !!
im nw in such a shit1 i hav spoiled ma lyfe nw the cracks i cant make up!
i want to cry im not able to i want to run away to a new palace where no one will get me!
or else i want to b mad so i dont want to bother abt nythg!!
madness----the state which can make us float !or to roll back to the mothers womb or else a state of dream livin in tat wonderland!
god im prayin let sm miracle happen in me ma lyf i m callin tat angel which gives me wings to fly!
wats happennin to me!
i want ma tose dayz bak!i want it im gettin mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recovering..........!!!

living for somebody gives some happiness! bt not living for myself draws me into deep shit!
im not starting pilosphy bt still life makes me typ so.

ya lik ma blog im also bored to the end with a new job, new frnds nd new collegues..still im missing somethg a lot
ma dear old ones ma dear royal gang !
ery night giving a histry calss of ma college nd ma frnds to ma room mates im tried ! nd i used to sleep till 8.30am nd being late from the second week to the new company- divya is being the same!
changes ! changes! changes!
come into ma lyf plzz! god almighty giv me new enrgy mak me look good mak me slim make me cute lead ma way!
prayin lik tis im rowin the boat with out a destiny!
tats watz insid ma mind!

now to the real world!
im happy nw im free i can roam arnd the city im havin money ! im havin a home with an anty nd uncle as ma gaurdians nd two frnds as ma sisters to whom i can talk talk nd talk abt anythg nd erythg under the sky !!!
im havin pone im havin seat im havin s/m all of mine.
ya...im happy with al tese!

NB:dear belladonna nd gikkz im recoverin to ma self ill call u ppl soon! :)

ill b back with anothr blog! nthg interstin is happin arnd me or in ma lyf tats y im bloging crapZ!

Searching..Searching....nd Searching!!!

yep....long after m back with a new post!

ya searching to find somethg out from tis lyf!

im tired with tis lyf! nthg to do ! im jobless!
i can say im not jobless bt im jobless!! nt makin a mess....

hey frdz!
(i donno hw many of ma frds do read ma blog bt i hop sm unknown ones while creeping into ma profile will go trgh tis...atleast trgh te topmost post so im writing writin for tose unknwn ones nd ma pleasure!)

ya..commin to the point ooooooooooooooh..shooooooooooooooo somethg is pullin me from writin tose! nyway frds im now at te gr8 cochin!

havin some good times! gaining some good experience gettin along with a new gang of frds erythg is cool!

ya...ssssuupper coolll outside nd inside....i wanna tell tose i wanna share things....
but minnu haveto hold her tounge for some reasons!

["ill call u soon my dear belladonna" (shes ma frd! dear outsiders! oopss..sorry as ur readin ur ma frd)
someones pretty nxtdoor neighbour! hey this is te only way to make u understand its u!]


tats somethg of personal sort ! sorry for insertig tose!

Being here for the third day ill tel wat i did for te past 2 days
i visited current books showroom got two books
ya...i spent money to buy !
madhavikuttys diarykurupukal tats a regional book madhavi kutty is familar to english readers as kamala das ! shes ma fav writer!
ps: if nyone z planning to get me som presents go for her books i like them a lot!

nd another one classic gothic stories from david blair
hav sme good stories!
i liked madmans manuscript by charles dickens !
tat inspired me to write somethg! ill include tat in some post!

roamed around menaka for ppl out from cochin tats marine drive!
hmm....
ya i hav to mention abt ma room mates v four sharing a room due to the shifts v seldom meet all since im jobless i m te only one takin care of all!:p

v talked abt a lot of tngs now M & R got a fairly good idea abt me! tats good i dont want to act more!
Erythg is in a tied up situation tat i cant say more abt myself!

nyway more for this post ill c on nxt post
ill try to include ma creativities too....ahem ahem..stopin...no more!!!!

Another day too!!!

Yep another day too!!
i wanna sm changes in ma lyf i lik to change!! ya
"without change life doesnt exit!!"
i hav read tis qoute smwhere in ma 8th std malayalam txt book!
y i startd abt change???mm......tdy wen i wok i was tinkin y cant i change!
so in te bed im tninkin abt te change (u knw i tnk a lot ;))........zzzzzz....zzz!
suddenly i heard a knok n ma door nd sm sarcastic remarks!!!hey minnz wots happenin!
ya i got to understand wats happnin ! its already 10'o clock! ppl u hav to not tat ma offic tim is 9.00.!!! so nyway i cant go dere tdy i decided coz i want to tak sm decisions to chang..na..mmm...!!!! understand me!!!!

yep! i opnd ma sys! nd im chattin playin exploring!! it goes on!

no chang at all im poor in decision makin i not a pragmatic person nd all tese makes me a jobless nerd!!! tats ma mom calls me!!

hey i got into a new site whicz interestin...
try tis *ppl who r lik me*http://interactive.mugglenet.com/

first post!!

Finally after diff rounds of toughts I ME MINNU decided to blog!
i love readin blogs ! nd its one of ma untold hobbies !

its been 2 weeks im sittin simply in frnt of an as/400 emulator! its sick really sick!!

(for tose who donno wats tis as/400 ill explain latr)

doin nothing not even movin frm ma chair! god dnt giv tis pleasur evn to ma enimies! once in a while i try to browse ill b welcomed with the screen:

"ITS TIME FOR IBM_MF & AS/400
.ACESS IS DENIED!!!!"

Horrible rt!
so i cant browse ma regular sites! not even i can sms nybdy ,u knw im joblesss!
so the whole day siting nd starin it goes on! ill b relesd fr lunch i ll b runnin to meet ma friends ! bt since ma stomach is roarin ill b more keen to knw wats goin insid te kitchn of amb!!!

sinc i don want to see te emulator tdy, i startd googlin frm the mornin itself nd i ended up in blog! nd ended up in this ting!

m windin fr te day!