Voices in ma head!

Ha!!

Thinking of writing something to ma blog after a long fight with me and the insane voices in ma head!

I donno how many people in his world hear voices inside them...

I have 4 kinds of voice...inside me... and the fifth voice is of mine! which I use to fight with the imposed wills of ma life! which becomes the sole cause for all the voices!

1. one From temporal lobe of ma brain.
2. another one from occipital lobe
3. one in frontal lobe.
4. inside ma heart!

NOw I tell you what all thses voices do to me....I havent called them any names as I dont love them!

for nw lemme name them...am very bad at naming somthg....I think I will go with 1,2, 3, and 4

the first voice kicks in when I read some interesting book...as if it finds pleasure in asking unnecessary questions while am reading!

the second one jumps in the middle of some first voice and they will start fighting ! trying make me insane!

the third is much better than the first two .....it will rescue me from the first two say a stop and a conclusion ! but third one is not always good...sometimes 3 is the problem starter...putting in topics like loneliness, madness, love, passion, lust, happiness, weirdness....I dunno always it will have voice to make fight with ma fourth and final voice in ma heart!

And the fourth one..I think thats the intuition as the people say....which is supposed to b the right and the safest one!

iNcOmPlEtE!!

Now after 4 months iam bak ! four months-- i have jumped 2 jobs for one reason or another ,i have to move on and one.....to be honest i was searching happiness !!

Happiness
when i was a child ,happiness meant to be holidays and choclates!
whn i was a teenager it was something i got with my friends
now am an young lady and i donno what happiness is and from where i can get that!

now am pathethic looking for the defenition of happiness!
ya i got one too !
"Happiness ia an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy."

ya thats a feeling we experience from satisfaction yep its that am an incomplete s/w engr!
i dont want to be!
i want to dissovle myself into the world of colors!
ya am experiencing that feelin when im searching colors, searching for paintings....sitting and dreamin about mixing them to make patterns of life!


I am incomplete in all sense!

ma day!

tese days ma blog is havin an attitude lik "I AM THE ONE" its all centered arnd me! wanna change tat! oki so let me start with ma office !
ya...name is still dere im not gonna change im still jobless nerd with a job!!
im workin in confer ma team consists of 5 members!
our tL is mary
im sittin nxt to amru in a safe Zone..:)
back side of me sonali a charater who cant understand a word in malayalam !!! hoppin i can get sm bengoli frm her!
nxt to tat swapu
back side od swappu mary!
tats the way v sit over here !
nd apart frm ma preious job the only thg is tat ma fav sites are not blocked so tat i can play in orangeshark ,i can do ma regular orkuttin, i can chk for neweest of newest mails!
the current trnd of mine goes like http://www.orangeshark.com/ u can as many games nd win as many badges evn tough i havnt won a silver badge i would continue playing !
all ppl over here r good! but i donno y i cant b close to dem dere is som distance alwayz! v used to share our food v used to explan te funny tngs happend arnd v used to exchange recepices still some tng is missin! mayb i m missin ma old dayz tats y te distance!
im updatin ma blog with a notime so tere ill b lot of spellin mistakes plzz read correctin ma blog!he he!bubyeeee!

I am in DEeeeP SHiT!!!!

my lyf is disgusting!!!!
i dont knw wat to write im aggressiv im showin anger im in deep shit!!
i m nw feelin to live in tis shit forever !so i dont want to care abt ma apperence ma way! i lik to b smelly ! i dont want nyone to come over me i dont want nyone i want to liv in tis shiT !!
im nw in such a shit1 i hav spoiled ma lyfe nw the cracks i cant make up!
i want to cry im not able to i want to run away to a new palace where no one will get me!
or else i want to b mad so i dont want to bother abt nythg!!
madness----the state which can make us float !or to roll back to the mothers womb or else a state of dream livin in tat wonderland!
god im prayin let sm miracle happen in me ma lyf i m callin tat angel which gives me wings to fly!
wats happennin to me!
i want ma tose dayz bak!i want it im gettin mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recovering..........!!!

living for somebody gives some happiness! bt not living for myself draws me into deep shit!
im not starting pilosphy bt still life makes me typ so.

ya lik ma blog im also bored to the end with a new job, new frnds nd new collegues..still im missing somethg a lot
ma dear old ones ma dear royal gang !
ery night giving a histry calss of ma college nd ma frnds to ma room mates im tried ! nd i used to sleep till 8.30am nd being late from the second week to the new company- divya is being the same!
changes ! changes! changes!
come into ma lyf plzz! god almighty giv me new enrgy mak me look good mak me slim make me cute lead ma way!
prayin lik tis im rowin the boat with out a destiny!
tats watz insid ma mind!

now to the real world!
im happy nw im free i can roam arnd the city im havin money ! im havin a home with an anty nd uncle as ma gaurdians nd two frnds as ma sisters to whom i can talk talk nd talk abt anythg nd erythg under the sky !!!
im havin pone im havin seat im havin s/m all of mine.
ya...im happy with al tese!

NB:dear belladonna nd gikkz im recoverin to ma self ill call u ppl soon! :)

ill b back with anothr blog! nthg interstin is happin arnd me or in ma lyf tats y im bloging crapZ!